The Science Behind My Training Programs
You can participate in my coaching and training programs with the confidence and assurance that it is based upon the latest scientific research. Although no single approach works for everyone, the strategies you will read about below are empirically tested and have been proven to be helpful for thousands of people.
First let's take a look at what doesn't work....
Have you ever been given well meaning advice from friends, family members and sometimes even therapists that just doesn't work? People who have never really struggled with serious social anxiety or have never really studied it can sometimes think that quick and simple fixes are obvious and should work for you.
It can be frustrating and hurtful to feel that no one understands you.
Why well meaning advice from friends and family often doesn't work
Have you ever had someone tell you "You should get out more often" or "Just speak up and be yourself" ?
While both statements technically have a great deal of truth in them, on their own they are actually not that all that helpful to a person suffering from social anxiety.
You may have tried to follow advice like this and felt even worse when you weren't successful in making changes.
Popular advice doesn't fix the root of the problem, it just tackles the symptoms, and does not produce lasting change
The trouble with advice that just tells you what to do differently, is that it does nothing to address the source of social anxiety itself, it doesn't get to the root of the problem.
What causes social anxiety are deep, strongly held beliefs that others will not like you, will reject you or judge you negatively. A lack of feeling of self worth and the desperate seeking of approval from others are often also factors.
People with social anxiety hold negative thoughts about themselves that may be rooted in childhood trauma or exposure to emotional abuse. These thoughts don't necessarily make sense to others, but they are very real to the person who has them.
Thinking and feeling like this not only makes you feel bad and limits what you feel comfortable doing, it also impacts the way others perceive you and how they react to you.
It becomes a viscous cycle.
Thankfully there is a way to disrupt the harm that these thoughts cause.
What Does Work - Cognitive Behavioral Science & Mindfulness - Proven Tools for Social Anxiety
Cognitive behavioral techniques are some of the most researched and highly effective tools for fighting conditions such as anxiety and depression. These tools are a key strategy in managing social anxiety.
Cognitive behavioral strategies enable you to become aware of your own "self-talk", to gently examine what you are telling yourself and determine if it is actually true or not. You may be surprised to find that you speak to yourself in a way that you wouldn't dream of speaking to a friend.
Using cognitive behavioral techniques you learn to become aware of negative "self-talk" that keeps you trapped in shyness, doubt and anxiety
Many people with social anxiety issues have a continual barrage of self critical and negative thoughts about their own "performance" running almost constantly through their heads like a nasty sound track on a movie. How could anyone have even a glimmer of self confidence with all that noise & negativity in the background?
Cognitive behavioral therapy is based upon the principle that what we think directly affects how we feel and how we behave.
You can use cognitive behavioral strategies to break destructive thought patterns and take away their power
By analyzing beliefs and thought patterns we can identify which beliefs are healthy and helpful and which are based upon trauma and negative experiences. Many people with severe social anxiety find that some of their thought patterns are deeply fear based and have an effect on their lives that could be described as toxic.
Other harmful mental habits we may engage in that often cause us mental anguish and pain include predicting the future, assuming we can mind-read, and the application of extremely high standards of perfection on ourselves.
Another important tool in overcoming social anxiety is mindfulness. The ancient practice of Mindfulness helps you relax your body, calm your emotions & focus your mind
You have probably heard of mindfulness, which is based upon and inspired by ancient practices of Zen Buddhism. Mindfulness promotes slowing down and becoming fully immersed in the present moment.
Recent scientific research on mindfulness supports what thousands of people have known through the ages
Engaging in mindfulness causes a peaceful calm feeling to flood through you as you let go of worry about the future and regrets of the past. When you master simple but powerful mindfulness techniques you will find yourself slowing down, focusing on and enjoying the present moment.
Once you have developed a strong foundation you are ready to learn new ways of interacting socially
Once a strong cognitive foundation has been built and you no longer are bothered by harmful thought patterns, you are ready to learn and practice new ways of interacting with people. Now you are ready to implement the advice of your well meaning friend who told you to "get out more", "speak up and just be yourself".
If you have severe social anxiety, you probably missed learning how to easily connect with others, start interesting conversations, initiate activities, express your thoughts and feelings, or project confidence and presence.
Cognitive behavior science can help in this way too. Cognitive behavioral strategies are some of the most highly researched methods for effectively creating lasting changes in behavior. If we need to change a habit, or promote a new type of desired behavior in ourselves, cognitive behavioral principles work.
First, you will learn a whole new set of effective social behaviors, things socially confident people have known all along
So much of what you learn will be new to you. You will wonder how it is that this important information was hidden from you for so long. You will also learn how to do things you knew about, but just weren't ready to do - for instance - the long standing advice to "Speak up and be yourself" and "Get out more" - can actually make sense now, and can actually make a difference, once you know how.
Learning about new social skills is easy, helpful and inspiring
Many people who suffer from social anxiety are comfortable with learning new concepts by reading or listening to a lecture or watching a video. It is interesting to learn about secrets to social interaction that you have never known even existed.
But these newly learned concepts won't change your life until you actually go out there and practice them
Research shows that while knowledge of a skill is certainly of value, real change cannot happen until you put new behavior into place in the real world.
You need to actually put this new knowledge into action, and it is helpful to have support and feedback through this process.
My private coaching, workshops and retreats provide you with the knowledge, support, feedback and practice are essential to successfully implementing change - all in a caring, positive, self-affirming environment
A step by step experiential training program that is scientifically based and helps you learn to become confident, calm and enjoy yourself in social situations.
This ground breaking program has been designed to appeal to those with various learning styles, and includes cognitive, emotional and experiential elements. You will find yourself effortlessly speaking, laughing, having fun with others, enjoying shared experiences and making true connections. We can help you every step of the way.
My approach is supportive, self-affirming and most importantly -- it works!
Clients report that social confidence training has opened the door to real personal transformation, allowing them the freedom to express themselves, for the first time in their lives, with confidence.